Baseball's Unwritten Rules Turn GRIMsley

Baseball’s Unwritten Rules Turn GRIMsley

Jason Grimsley’s recent admonition about drug use in baseball and his subsequent 50-game suspension launches us into the next chapter in the sport’s storied history of dealing with players cheating to gain a competitive advantage. Whether we’re discussing Pete Rose gambling on games he managed while with the Reds or debating the validity of Barry Bonds’ home run accolades in light of his suspected steroid use, the art of revealing something without really revealing anything is as much a part of the game as doctoring the ball, stealing signs, and breaking up double plays. Unfortunately, for baseball and its players who need to face their families and wives at night, this onetime practiced art of adhering to the game’s unwritten rules is losing steam as more and more players are airing their dirty laundry to Joe Public on a regular basis.

Today, many argue that the claims Jose Conseco made in his tell all book of yesteryear have been validated and he himself vindicated from the abuse he took from so many for spilling the beans on one of baseball’s biggest locker room secrets. What they won’t say is that although he may have been right, sometimes being right and doing the right thing is not always the right thing to do. In writing his book about steroid use in baseball, whether he was being truthful or not, Conseco broke baseball’s golden rule: What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. No wait…that’s incorrect. What happens in the locker room stays in the locker room. A rule that could be amended to also include, what happens on the road stays on the road.

For those who think collegiate and professional sports are played by Christian fairing men who should serve as role models and father figures to today’s youth, grow up. Like Colin Cowherd on ESPN Radio often says, big time sports are big boy sports. The same rules that apply in Little League aren’t even existent at the Major League level. If they were, strike zones would be wider than Roseanne Barr, fans would eat taco boats out of Fritos bags, and every player, including the bullpen catcher, would get at least one at bat and one inning in the field. Pro athletes are paid to produce and when the rewards (high salaries, bonuses, and worldwide fame) greatly outweigh the punishments (slap on the wrist fines and suspensions) players are going to cheat to get ahead and the question is should we really blame them? After all, the fans are partially to blame. Three years ago we fans were ready to anoint Bonds as the second coming of Christ. Now, we’re cursing him in the stands and putting hexes on his family in the basements of our homes for becoming the player that we, in part, helped create.

Conseco broke baseball’s golden rule and look what’s happened since. The BALCO scandal, Bud Selig’s constant tweaking of steroid suspension policies, the involvement of Congress, Mark McGwire’s refusal to testify, Rafael Palmeiro’s embarrassing testimony and fallout from the game, the disappearance of Sammy Sosa, and the ironic twist of all ironic twists: Amidst all the speculation, Barry Bonds still remains in the Clear. So, while Sosa joins Stan Van Gundy and Jimmy Hoffa on the “Where Are They” list, Bonds hit number 717 last night and although the sports world generally hates him today, until there is tangible proof of his violation of baseball’s drug policy, we must honor the fact that he is one of the greatest power hitters of all-time.

Truth be told, baseball can’t afford another player challenging its unwritten rules. Athletes may have to resort to Marine-like tactics and dish out Code Reds when a guy like Conseco opens his mouth the next time around or when a player like the White Sox’s Sean Tracy refuses to throw at a batter after being instructed to do so by his manager, Ozzie Guillen.

Before I get to this baseball atrocity, let me provide a quick rundown of some of the game’s most evident unwritten rules:

1) The Golden Rule (may Conseco be damned)

2) Talking to a pitcher during a no-hitter. This in short, is a no-no. Pitcher’s in the midst of a perfect game or no-hitter should be treated as if the team doctor just diagnosed them with Bubonic Plague. Furthermore, the mere utterance of the words “no-hitter” by any team player should automatically warrant the aforementioned Code Red.

3) No bunting in a no-hitter after the 5th Inning. The San Diego Padres’ Ben Davis did this a few years back against Curt Schilling and the Diamondbacks when Schilling had a perfect game going with one out in the 8th. Davis successfully bunted for a single and single-handedly leapfrogged his name to the top of baseball’s Bad Karma list. Reports that D’Backs Manager Bob Brenley called Tony Soprano to put a contract on Davis’ head have not been confirmed. Nor has it been confirmed whether or not Brenley at the time was aware that Tony Soprano was merely a fictional character played by James Gondolfini. Either way, in the eyes of baseball purists, the argument could be made that a hit on Davis would have been justified under the circumstances.

4) Never steal a base in a blowout after the 6th Inning. This rule applies to everyone except Ricky Henderson who after being caught playing cards in the clubhouse during the closing innings of a playoff loss with the Mets proved that he has absolutely no clue what rules or boundaries are.

5) Never show up a pitcher. Nothing in baseball will warrant a 95 mph heater striking you in the ear hole quicker than showing up any pitcher at any time, but especially after hitting a home run. Enjoy your moment, but do so in a timely manner typically defined by a confident yet brisk jog around the bases. Rule 5a) If you do show up a pitcher and later get a fastball whizzing by in the vicinity of your head, you have no right to charge the mound. Consider things even and move on. If you do charge the mound, you better bring you’re A-Game or else you run the risk of not only breaking a cardinal unwritten rule, but looking like Robin Ventura being manhandled by Nolan Ryan in the greatest I Think I’ll Go Out and Get My Ass Whipped in Front of a National TV Audience move of all-time.

6) When a key player on your team gets hit by a pitch, it’s your entire pitching staff’s responsibility to then bean a key player on the other team, which brings us full circle to Tracy’s despicable actions last night.

This Tracy/Guillen story is making headlines because Tracy was not only pulled from the game immediately following his refusal to hit Hank Blalock but was also informed later that night that he’d been demoted back down to Triple-A. An emotional Tracy could be seen in the dugout with his jersey covering his face after Guillen gave him the better half of his mind and you know what, rightfully so. Just like written rules, what’s the benefit of having an unwritten rule if no one’s going to follow it? In baseball, more so than any other sport, the unwritten rules are absolutely necessary. Tracy needed to hit Blalock. His personal morals or feelings had to be put aside for the betterment of the team. His team needed to know that he had their backs. The oldest cliché in sports, there is no I-in-Team, applies here. Guillen had to know whether this rookie was a “me” guy or a “team” guy and Tracy proved that at this point in his career, he wasn’t ready for big boy sports. With one of the White Sox’s best players, A.J. Pierzynski getting hit not once but twice in the game, the Sox had to respond and Tracy instead was non-compliant and it not only cost him a spot on the roster but it lost him the respect of his teammates who understand that at times in life the adherence to unwritten rules take precedence over written rules, societal laws, morals, personal beliefs and anything else your Little League coach taught you when you were 10 and still blowing bubbles with wads of Big League Chew.